Value of Parents in the age of Modernity

Ramadan is that time of year where we reflect alot on our lives, loved ones and other associations. It is that time of year that bonds us to our responsibilities and gives us new sight to elements of value in our lives. How do we give value to our parents in this age of modernity?

We’re taught to respect them. Treat them with honour and bestow kindness upon them. They gave birth to us, nurtured us, shaped and molded us into who we now are.

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’”  (Surah Al – Isra’, v.24)

We come to that point in our lives when we suddenly realize that our parents who were once so vibrant, energetic and young are getting on in years. They are  not as much fun anymore and much to your secret shame, you don’t want to hang out with them anymore – the third wheel; the daughter in-between. No wonder people think you are old. The cool individuals hang out with their friends in coffee shop sand at the movies.

You distance yourself from those two people who have only ever had your best interests at heart. Maybe deep down you acknowledge that if your parents are aging and you are too. You need to expend your youth to its limits before your time runs out and hanging out with your aging parents will only impede this.

Time goes by, and in your race to achieve all the pleasure that youth and the world has to offer, you find yourself once again alone in your pursuits. Your friends are married, now parents to their own children and responsibilities take presidence. This when you notice those loving, caring faces who through all your years of tantrums and tedium have never abandoned you for their own pursuits.  You return to them with much  realization and appreciation.

Reflecting on my own relationship with my parents, amids the quirks we exasperate and  bug each other. There are disagreements and challenges  but I love my parents deeply. The thought of losing them leaves me a loss for expression beyond resonating heartache.

We need to give value to our parents by appreciating them, regardless of disagreements. And if you are younger…. even in spite of the embarrassment you may perceive your time with your parents is limited on this earth, more glaring  because they’re aging

Almighty Allah SWT has instructed in Surah Al Isra’:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”

Wherever we happen to be today as individuals in this time of modernity and whether we have the good fortune of having our parents with us or not, take the opportunity to make an extra special duaa for them. Make that phone call to tell them you love and appreciate them. Even though it may seem like a little, it will by no means make up for the great amount of effort they have invested in us and our lives. Dua is the best gift that we can give to them to show that we do care, follows by acts of  love, kindness, appreciation and patience.

May each of us take it upon ourselves to make the attempt to reach out to our parents, and may Allah SWT reward us abundantly for our efforts. Especially for those having severed ties with their parents, may this Ramadan seal your grievances with love and respect. May we be blessed with being able to exercise a beautiful patience on our parents and honour them with the dignity and respect that they are deserving of.

Ramadan Thoughts – We made it!

The month of Ramadhan is one that most of us look forward to. Sometimes we anticipate its commencement as soon as the month of Rajab is ushered in and at other times, we feel the nervous excitement dawing and only once we’re a few days into Ramadhan do we remember exactly why this wonderful, sacred month is so beloved to us.

For a major part of the year, we are all caught up in the drama of our lives – the highs and lows. There are times when we feel giddy with excitement and others where our days are darkened with minor or major calamities. Our spiritual states aren’t always at a peak and we find ourselves engaged in a host of activities that continue to drain at our connection to Allah, leaving us frazzled and out of sorts. Often we are unaware of this and seek cures in various other avenues, not knowing the true reason for our unrest.

The intrinsic nature of a human being is to be at harmony with Allah. To embrace ones spirituality, not just stipulate it to a certain day or a certain time period but to fully live each day with the awareness of Allah. This is how we thrive, mentally and physically. Alas, it is easier said than done and that’s why when Ramadhan comes around, we are given an excuse to try to achieve that. For an entire month, we are focused on Allah and in strengthening our bond to Him, the bond of Creator and creation, Master and slave, one that is forged through love and loving submission.

For me, going into Ramadhan is like entering a protective cocoon, where my starving, spiritually bereft and ravaged soul is given an opportunity to heal. I feel safe and loved. I feel at peace and calm. Ramadhan affords me the ability to experience the benefits of a pure lifestyle.

I wish you all a joyous Ramadhan and I make duaa that Allah Ta’ala grants you and I the ability not only to make the most out of it but to keep with us all of the goodness that we’ve attained throughout the year.

Rekindling Hijab Awareness

Often it is difficult to wrap ones mind around the concept of hijab. Beyond it being one of the laws for muslimahs to follow, there are personal reactions that influence our mental construct of hijab. Part of what draws a woman to hijab and allows to her to take that step into donning it, is the increasing awareness and desire for modesty. Her spirituality is heightened and as a result she seeks out all the ways in which she can declare love for the Creator.

Women have undoubtedly been gifted with one of the most beautiful forms amongst creation. We are exquisite and enchanting, from the roots of our hair to the ends of our feet. Allah SWT has created us in a way that is more than pleasing so it is no surprise that given the nature of human beings, we are attracted to things of beauty and given the nature of men, they are attracted to women. The world today is highly sexualised. The female form is brazenly on display. They’ are portrayed in bold, colourful images. Wherever you go, you’re likely to encounter either a lusciously tinted pair of pouting lips, shapely legs in stiletto heels or a lowcut clothing revealing some bosom.  During this era human interest has become so tunnel-visioned, disregards that which is important. Individuals have become desensitized to nudity and sexuality that they  disregard that it’s better for them to conceal their bodies and be recognised as a peopler  rather than objects of  fantasy. When we clad ourselves in loose clothing, we send out the message, not that we’re dowdy or boring but rather that “Allah has given me this gift, this treasure. He’s entrusted it to me. I want to honour Allah’s laws of hijab”

Sometimes a person would be inclined to show off their beauty due to pride or in order to elicit appreciation from the opposite gender. The human ego loves to be fed but exhibitionism can and will invite the wrong attention, which may end up in unpleasant or awkward situations. This is when you, as a Muslim woman, perceive the reason we’re commanded by Allah to conceal our beauty. Islam does not oppress women but is structured to ensure our protection and to maintain the respect, dignity and safety.

Beginners Guide to Hijab: Hijab Disclaimer

As you insert the final pin that will hold your hijab firmly in place, you are brimming with the light of Imaan. Your face illuminated with noor. Round and radiant like the full moon. There is no bitterness. You feel enlightened and empowered. With that flowing scarf upon your head, you are ready to take on the world…
But no one ever mentions the difficulty that you will encounter when you step out of your bedroom door.
No one mentions the opposition you will face.
Not just from people who are not Muslim but from those who are.
Sometimes even your own family members.
No one mentions the awkwardness you feel, or the moments of self-doubt.
Nor do they mention the moments of weakness where you are persuaded to bare your hair for that special family occasion.
No one mentions the discomfort you’ll experience during the sweltering summer, while other women frolic in public beaches and pools.
No one ever mentions that you’ll occasionally be called aunty, even though you’re only 20 something years old.

Well, I could go on and by now you probably feel demoted, or angry, so I will say what I’m sure you already know and that is, that, every bit is worth it. The opposition, the antagonism. The doubt, the spiritual lows. The heat and even the dreaded A-word. It is all worth covering up for. Even if you don’t realize it now, and yes there are some of us who don’t. The day that you do, will be a million times better than that first time you smilingly secured that shiny, sparkly new clip onto your hijab.